AVOIDANCE
As humans we are all heading for a more conscious and expanded experience of living – one way or another.
However, there is nothing more powerful that PROLONGS personal emotional healing than AVOIDANCE.
Avoidance is a common human behaviour, designed to manage stress and overwhelm. Ultimately, it’s a survival technique. However, it is also a method by which the growth of a soul can be COMPROMISED. Avoidance is also a powerful method of creating future “mess”. I’ll explain why later.
But first, let’s look at the neurobiology to understand what is actually happening when someone is in “avoidance”.

Phase 1
When a person experiences a threat, or even a perceived threat (that is, not actually happening in real time and space), the AMYGDYLA in the brain is activated and releases chemicals and hormones such as cortisol, dopamine, epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine (noradrenaline) into the bloodstream. These chemicals create physical symptoms such as a racing heart, quickening of breath and perspiration. In this state, we can easily become ungrounded and disconnected both from ourselves as well as from others.

Phase 2
The “activated” chemistry then signals the neocortex in the brain. The neocortex holds memory. All memory is PAST and not happening anymore. However, loose associations are made in this part of the brain to past events, situations or traumas. The neocortex is also responsible for the LOGIC/THINKING part of the brain. So it will become very pragmatic and try to “figure out” what is going on and how to deal with the stress.

Phase 3
The emotional response to an activated or triggered neocortex is FEAR and ANXIETY. The emotional behaviours that are associated with fear are FIGHT, FLIGHT or FREEZE, and in this phase, the primitive and survival part of our brain will do WHATEVER IT CAN TO MAKE IT STOP.

Phase 4
Without a conscious overview and a witness to what is occurring in the brain, at this juncture we can go into avoidant behaviours in order to control the uncomfortable feelings that are being activated. These include but are not limited to not answering telephone calls, becoming ill so as to not attend work, disappearing into a television series, drinking alcohol, getting high, having habitual coffee “fixes”, prematurely ending a relationship, or refusing to actually deal with the issue at hand. All these strategies are designed to alleviate the stress that is being triggered and to make it stop as quickly as possible.
THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
The problem now, however, is that avoidant behaviours can become an AUTOMATIC default setting in the brain which is designed to bypass the adrenaline response completely by side-stepping anything that can POTENTIALLY be a threat.
NO THREAT = NO FEAR = NO DISCOMFORT.
The issue of fear is a SOUL ISSUE. It cannot and never will be resolved and dealt with in the mind. LOGIC will not unravel fear, yet when the neocortex is activated, it becomes the dominant driver and decision maker. FEAR cannot and never will be “figured out”.
Instead, it must be:
1. CLAIMED and seen for what it is;
2. FELT as a physical and emotional FEELING in the body;
3. EARTHED/grounded/released.
At this juncture you may say, and rightly so, “It’s just not that easy to feel something that has been avoided for a lifetime” or “it was bad enough the first time, I’m not going to go through that again”.
And I agree. There is a real risk in OVERWHELMING the soul to a point of disassociation. And that is not a good place to be.
However, there is nothing more fearful than the FEAR OF FEAR itself. Until we can lean to be unafraid of fear, the avoidant personality will dominate relations and without a doubt, destroy relationships.
And so, we GENTLY move through the process of reconnection. We put our support systems in place and set the intent to heal without creating more harm.
Now we must become CURIOUS participants in the exploration of our emotional bodies and notice what it is that causes our souls to either contract or expand. We must ask the question: “I WONDER WHAT THIS IS REALLY ABOUT?”
We can do this ESPECIALLY when the nervous system is activated. Because this is the window we must use to ACCESS what is present and alive inside the body. Once we have anchored the reality that we are experiencing a traumatic response, the question can then be asked “What do I need?” in order to process and resolve this feeling. Often, the answer will be SPACE, just allowing some room to BE WITH whatever is emerging is a powerful tool. Prayer is also a powerful tool. “God, please show me what is that I am reacting to?” Getting horizontal in the Earth is also a magick remedy that is still somewhat underrated as a therapy. With a willing and curious personality, our thoughts and judgements can now be directed into the greater issues of the soul that are still needing attention.
Imagine driving across the city in an adrenalised and traumatised state in a new car full of electromagnetic frequencies, navigating traffic, road rage and poor time management, to sit in a therapist’s chair under a fluorescent light, paying $350 for 90 minutes, then driving home only to notice the underlying activation is still there. And, all the while there was a park outside your house, next to a beautiful tree which is just waiting for your company. She doesn’t charge you money, and you can stay for as long as you like. And when it’s time to walk home, you notice that you feel, well, just normal again. The neocortex has regulated, you are back in your body, Mother Earth has claimed the frequency of fear and absorbed it back into the ground, and you are restored back to your rightful state, which is love.
When the decision is made to replace your avoidance with creative thinking and curiosity, triggers will become exciting instead of overwhelming and your soul will move “towards” instead of “away”.

Resources
The Human Soul: Fear Processing P2 – YouTube
divinetruth.com
The Biology Of Fear and the Caudate Nucleus by JZ Knight from www.ramtha.com

Worksheets

 

Quotes
I’ve built a wall not to keep you out but to protect what is still left within.

Pain in this life is not avoidable but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.
RD Laing

Emotional pain cannot kill you but running from it can.
Vironika Tugaleva

The manic relief that comes from the fantasy that we can with one savage slash cut the chains of the past and rise like a phoenix, free of all history, is generally a tipping point into insanity.
Stefan Molyneux

Fight for change? Thirst for difference? Start talking what men avoid talking about.
Toba Beta

We use our minds, not to discover facts but to hide them.
Antonio Damasio

The choice to avoid risk is the choice to avoid living and to avoid living is one of the greatest risks of all.